In the shadowed depths of despair, ensnared by addiction, demons both within and around me, I extend an invitation, a lifeline. Join me on a transformative journey from the abyss of darkness to the radiance of light, from captivity to the boundless freedom of recovery. Welcome back to “Metamorphosis Addiction.

The turning points in my recovery were a symphony of perilous notes, each resonating with profound impact. Attempting to detox from Hydromorphone revealed the gravity of my health issues. Bedridden for three and a half years, my resting heart rate soared, reaching the 190s BPM, rendering even simple movements a risk. Random blackouts became a norm, each incident etching scars on both my body and soul. The decision to remove my Hickman port, made during a bout of psychosis, marked a pivotal moment, driven by a weariness of the darkness that cloaked my existence.

Alone, with only the unwavering support of my mother, I navigated the treacherous path of recovery. The lack of a substantial support system intensified the challenges of home infusion therapy and isolation. My late fiancé, a beacon of support, was lost in 2016, and familial bonds proved fragile. In the face of my own mortality, I grappled with the selfishness of family and friends who failed to comprehend the severity of my condition, leaving me to confront the depths of solitude.

The descent into psychosis cast a shadow on my recovery, with mental health professionals predicting a bleak future. Hospitalization became a turning point, gradually pulling me back from the brink of permanent psychosis. Weeks in a psych ward offered glimpses of reality, and a subsequent home recovery process marked the gradual return to a semblance of normalcy, a fragile flicker of light emerging from the darkest corners of my mind.

Haunted by voices echoing in the chambers of my mind, the recovery process involved months of medication adjustments and personal rehabilitation. Emerging from the echoes of psychosis, I find myself on a significantly reduced medication regimen—shedding the weight of over a dozen prescriptions to a mere handful, focusing on addressing lingering chemical imbalances. Physical scars, like the one on my face from a fall during a blackout, serve as visible reminders of the arduous journey, a testament to the emotional and physical toll that accompanied every step towards recovery.

As the echoes of my metamorphosis reverberate through this chronicle, I stand testament to the indomitable spirit within. From the depths of addiction’s abyss to the triumph over psychosis, “Metamorphosis Addiction” is a heart-wrenching tale of resilience, hope, and the astonishing strength residing within us all. Join me on this pilgrimage, where even in our darkest moments, the brightest light can emerge.