When I was sick, I was at one point dealing with awful effects from endometriosis. I’m now in remission from it and doing wonderfully even with my previous medical history. Why do I bring this up? Well, when Darryl was alive (my late fiancé), I don’t know to this day if this is what triggered him to relapse on heroin or if he relapsed before that even happened. But while I was in the middle of surgeries, hormone therapy, etc., I discovered I was pregnant at one point before my fourth and fifth major surgeries. I didn’t know I was pregnant, however, until the miscarriage happened. I was even on the birth control shot (depo) and going through hormone therapy; it was out of the blue for a pregnancy to happen.

Then what also led to my suspicions of Darryl relapsing: when I had my fourth and fifth surgeries, I noticed my pain medication. When I would go to get a dose while recovering from my surgeries, there would be one or two less than I had before. Darryl was sneaking into my pain meds so he could avoid withdrawals while taking care of me during my recovery from having my gallbladder removed and my esophagus surgery. They completely opened me up for those two surgeries done at the same time. Not fun.

It sucked because I could’ve caught his relapse earlier, and because I was so sick and having major surgeries that even required hospitalization afterward, I couldn’t keep him alive and help him be better. And the worst part, Darryl made me promise him not to tell his family and friends about his relapse because he didn’t want to lose the relationships he finally got back after screwing them up before.

And to let everyone know, everything I post on my website and blog is 100% mine and true. I’m not rewriting history; I’m not changing anything. I’m writing exactly what happened and how it happened. Sorry if any of my posts offend you or you think I’m lying or delusional. Sorry to say, but all I’m doing is getting my story out there and Darryl’s so maybe somehow these blog posts of mine help save a life.