As my relationship with my boyfriend deepens and we become more invested in each other, he plans to propose once he secures a stable job. I’ve made it clear to him that I don’t expect any of my family members, except for my mom, to attend our wedding. You might wonder why, especially those relatives who haven’t spoken to me or acknowledged my existence in over a decade. They might feel entitled to ask, “Why am I not invited to your wedding? We’re family.”

The truth is, family means little when they weren’t there for me during my darkest times. I was resuscitated twice and even experienced psychosis. Despite having a home nurse and a geriatric doctor making house calls, I was dying, and the only person consistently by my side was my mom.

When my grandmother was passing away, I struggled to visit her in the hospital. My cousins, great aunt, and uncle were there, but none of them spoke to me. They only gossiped about my appearance, not realizing the severity of my condition. I was too ill to attend her funeral, and my absence led to ignorant questions from my family about the reality of my illness.

My step-great aunt had the audacity to criticize my mom over financial matters, thinking I was unaware. I confronted her, defending my mom while I was sick. Similarly, my step-grandmother sent a tactless email to my mom about owing money, completely disregarding my health crisis. I responded, cutting ties with her for her lack of concern and empathy.

I’ve been excluded from family events, including weddings, and treated as if I don’t exist. This disregard is why I have no interest in having them at my wedding, except for my mom, who has always been there for me.