#FatherlessButFearless
#RaisedByMyMom
#SingleMomStrong
#HealingJourney
#RealLifeStory
#OvercomingAbandonment
#ResilientWoman
#BreakingTheCycle
#WomenWhoInspire
#EmotionalHealing
#MyTruth
#FearlessAndFree
#FamilyTrauma
#InnerStrength
#StrongWomenStories

Families aren’t always simple. Some are built through love, others through survival — and mine was both.

I was raised by my mom, a single parent and civilian officer with the LAPD. She was tough, compassionate, and carried the weight of both parental roles. I never had a “father figure.” The only image I had of my biological father was that he didn’t want me. He asked my mom to have an abortion when she was 32. She thought about it, and then chose me anyway.

He was about 41 or 42 at the time — already divorced once after cheating on his first wife, then remarried the woman he cheated with. That didn’t last long either. Now he’s in his third marriage, and honestly, I think it’s lasted because his current wife owns a million-dollar real estate business. He lives comfortably in a million-dollar home, even though he didn’t pay child support until I was 15.

When I was a baby, my mom asked him to write me a letter explaining why he didn’t want to be in my life. He refused. So she filed for child support — just $50 or $100 a month meant for a college fund. When he showed up to the attorney’s office in full LAPD uniform, he broke policy and angered the attorney. To make it worse, he tried filing for joint custody just to pay less child support. My mom eventually dropped it — until I was old enough to understand what was happening.

At 15, I found my half-brothers. One on Facebook, and another through an old blog he had. I introduced myself, explained how our parents knew each other, and sent photos to show that I wasn’t making it up. I had our father’s exact cheekbones and eyes. I met one of them, but when my father found out, he was furious. He didn’t want them to know about me.

He’s only ever spoken to me once in my entire life.

It was almost comical — back when Facebook introduced the feature where you could assign nicknames in Messenger, I didn’t know the other person could see it. I nicknamed him “Douchebag.” He saw it, got offended, and replied, “Why would I want to meet someone like you?” He then tried to use his cancer as an excuse for his behavior. I reminded him that I’d had eight major surgeries myself.

To this day, he refuses to acknowledge me as his daughter.

When I realized how well he lived while my mom and I struggled, I convinced her to reopen the child support case. He initially lied about his income, saying he could only afford $400 a month. But my mom worked with a county attorney— a completely free service — and they uncovered the truth. He ended up being ordered to pay $800 a month. By then, he’d already pissed off both an attorney and a judge, so he didn’t dare fight it.

Before that, I’d taken a DNA test confirming I was 98.999999997% his child. When he found out, he called my half-brother and said, “I guess it’s a girl.” My brother couldn’t believe how tone-deaf he sounded.

The only date my father ever remembered about me was my 18th birthday — the day he could stop paying child support. But here’s the twist: in California, if your child hasn’t graduated high school, payments continue until they turn 19. I hadn’t graduated yet, and he was livid. He even tried to claim I wasn’t living with my mom anymore.

The attorney called my mom saying, “He’s claiming she’s no longer under your care.” My mom laughed and said, “What? She’s literally napping in the next room.” The attorney chuckled and said, “Alright, I see what’s going on. I’ll handle it.”

If anyone ever needs child support — go through the county attorney’s office. It’s free, they know every loophole, and they don’t play games.

My father was never there — not at my birth, not through my surgeries, not through anything. My mother was there for it all. She was my protector, my role model, and my foundation. Everything I’ve become — every ounce of strength and independence — comes from her.

I didn’t grow up with a father. I grew up with a warrior.