A Metamorphosis Addiction

A Metamorphosis, Earned

Learning When Silence Is Power

I’ve come to realize as I’ve gotten older — and truly stepped into adulthood (at least mentally, since I still somehow look like I’m 15) — that life is really about choosing your battles.

Not everything deserves a response.
Not every feeling needs to be acted on.
And negativity doesn’t need my energy anymore.

My 20s were a rollercoaster in every sense of the word.

When My Health Changed Everything

Shortly after I turned 20, my health took a dramatic turn. I underwent major esophagus surgery after learning I was born without a flap in my esophagus. At the exact same time — in the same operating room — my gallbladder was removed because it was failing and only functioning at 18%.

That moment marked the beginning of countless hospital stays and ER visits. I started infusion therapy for hypokalemia, severe nutrient deficiencies, and dehydration. I had an at-home nurse coming once or twice a week just to start fresh IVs and make sure I wasn’t heading into another emergency.

Grief That Rewrote My Life

Then, on March 19th, 2016, my life shattered.

My late fiancé Darryl passed away from fentanyl poisoning due to heroin — what I still consider second-degree murder. I was blamed for his death by his older brother and people he called friends. I was also the one who found him — here, in my home, on my ranch.

That kind of trauma doesn’t leave you.

After his death, my health rapidly declined. I was in and out of the hospital constantly. During that time, I was resuscitated twice. I was at death’s doorstep. I couldn’t leave my bed. I was so weak I could barely function.

The physical trauma only compounded the emotional one.

Surviving the Aftermath

I developed night terrors, severe anxiety, severe depression, and complex PTSD. I want to be clear about this part — I am doing well now. That stability didn’t come easily. It came after years of trial and error, advocacy, and finally finding the right combination of medications that worked for me. My mom fought relentlessly to help me through that process, even when some medications failed before we found the right ones.

In October 2018, my grandmother passed away. I was too weak to attend her funeral, and I barely made it in time to say goodbye before she was taken off life support.

The night before Thanksgiving in 2018, I experienced psychosis after trying to quit prescribed pain medications — hydromorphone (Dilaudid) and fentanyl patches — which I had been prescribed at the same time. When pain management doctors refused to help me taper off safely, I tried alternative methods on my own.

It backfired.

I don’t remember three and a half months of my life after that night. I was placed on a 30-day psychiatric hold, and doctors told my mother I might be permanently mentally disabled.

Somehow — and I still don’t fully understand how — I came back.

Rebuilding, Again

And just as I began rebuilding my life again…

COVID happened.

Still, I kept going.

I got my second job at California Pizza Kitchen (my first was Panda Express). While the work environment seriously impacted my mental health — and later resulted in a lawsuit that I received a small settlement from — I didn’t quit on myself.

In 2023, A Metamorphosis Addiction was born.
I built something from the ground up.
I rebuilt my credit.
I rebuilt my sense of purpose.

I also learned hard lessons in relationships — lessons I won’t go into detail about here because they no longer deserve space. What I will say is this: I am safer, stronger, and more grounded now than I ever was then.

Love, Loss, and Choosing What Stays

From that chapter came Lucy — a dog who was dumped on me and whom I fostered for an entire year. Watching her eventually get adopted by the most amazing couple was one of the most healing experiences of my life. She’s thriving, spoiled, and even gets to fly to Hawaii because her new family owns a home there.

In 2025, I coordinated and planned two weddings — with my amazing fiancé Beau by my side. He steps in as my assistant whenever he can, and I appreciate him more than words can express.

Speaking of Beau — he proposed to me on December 6th, 2025, at the top of the Mickey Mouse Ferris wheel at Disney California Adventure. We’re getting married on October 24th, 2026, and I still can’t believe I get to say that. Engagement photos are coming — just as soon as life and budget allow.

Education, Purpose, and the Work Ahead

I’m also nearing graduation with a 3.5 GPA, completing my high school diploma alongside my Veterinary Assistant Certification, which is my major. This path matters deeply to me — not just professionally, but personally — because caring for animals has always been part of my healing and my purpose.

Outside of school, I do my best to give back wherever I can. I collaborate, volunteer, and work alongside organizations that align with my values and my heart — including Hank’s Legacy Foundation, A Pig’s Garden, Josh and His Critters, and Cornerstone Companions. Each of these organizations has played a role in reminding me why compassion, advocacy, and community matter so much.

2025 held both blessings and loss.

My heart dog Cato passed away at 13 years old, and losing him broke me in ways I wasn’t prepared for. Seeing how deeply I was grieving, my mom and Beau surprised me with Phoenix — my puppy, who I hope to train as a service dog. As someone who is legally declared disabled, this means more to me than I can fully express.

This year, I also deepened collaborations with photographers, vendors, and animal-focused organizations — including Cornerstone Companions, who are helping guide Phoenix’s service dog journey. Together, we’re offering pet chaperone services for weddings — for dogs and even horses — blending love, accessibility, and inclusion into spaces where animals truly belong.

Entering a New Decade

When I look back at the beginning of my 20s and compare it to where I am now — entering my 30s — the contrast is staggering.

I’ve lived through loss, trauma, survival, and rebuilding.
And I’ve also lived through love, growth, stability, and genuine joy.

I’m walking into this next decade grateful, grounded, and hopeful.

What A Metamorphosis Addiction Really Means

A Metamorphosis Addiction has never been about perfection, hustle, or pretending life doesn’t hurt.

It’s about transformation that’s earned — through loss, rebuilding, compassion, and choosing to show up anyway.

This brand exists because I do.
Because animals saved me just as much as I’ve tried to save them.
Because community healing matters.
Because growth can be soft, nonlinear, and still powerful.

A Metamorphosis Addiction is the belief that becoming isn’t a destination — it’s a commitment. To yourself. To others. To doing better when you know better.

And I’m still becoming.

Happy New Year!

— Sammy XOXO

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